Anyway, it’s been terrible and as usual I lost track of the days… I really mean it! I would find myself asking Mom which day it is today before going to work!!! If I ask this to Dad he will kick my ass calling me a nutcase! Even Mom would give me weird looks and I would sheepishly say that I didn’t remember!
Am not the only one, mind you! My colleague next to me would keep asking me about the current date and day! Oh lemme mention that I have changed my seat since Monday and I no longer sit next to the guy I had a tiff with… But things are getting better between him and me… Let’s say that we do exchange words indirectly… But we do avoid looking at each other… That’s easy since we don’t face each other or sit next to each other…
But I do sit next to someone now who eats my head the whole day and likes to watch whatever am doing!!! Sigh!!! Sometimes when he calls me I pretend I don’t hear him. First I hate it when someone doesn’t call me by my name (nickname will do) and just says ‘Psst!’ !!!!! That’s one thing that I always have trouble digesting!!! So I just ignore him… Am concentrating hard on my work you see!!!
But I got the place where I wanted to sit right from the beginning. And it faces the window and I can have a look at the sky and the clouds and the mountains and the trees and the birds flying!!! :o) Helps a lot when I move my eyes away from the glaring monitor!
I got my specs and well gotta get used to them. Am in the experimenting phase right now! Started wearing them today as I didn’t get the time to go pick them up during the week. Hope my eyes will improve… They are still causing me some trouble but am being patient… Am really impatient to wear my contact lenses again! Another week! Sigh…
So today I went to work! Yeah even though it’s Saturday! But that was only for 4 hrs. After that the whole bunch went to the trainer’s place. He’ll be leaving in a couple of weeks. Anyhow since I took the car, 3 other colleagues hopped in the car and went to call up Sis and afterwards went to pick up my specs. Then we went to V’s place. We had a good meal there. After lunch I was going downstairs to the car to apply my lipstick! Everyone asked where I was going and I suddenly felt shy! I told one of them, 'You know!' and he asked me if I was going to apply my lipstick! I just showed my tongue and ran downstairs! Hmm!!! After some time the guys started dancing. The other trainer J wanted to dance with me but promised him next time we would dance together and that’s a promise… Yeah a promise. He seems to kinda like me… Anyway I stuck around there for 3 hrs. V kept asking me to stay but told him I couldn’t. I had a few things to do. I needed to go home early. So on the way back I dropped a couple of colleagues at the bus terminal and I came home. Chatted a bit with Mom and Dad.
Oh I came across someone today… She was studying with me but at a different place and we had good times together. I used to protect her. And when she had problems she would come and stay with me. Or if she had a tiff with other students, I would be the one to go and take her defense… She completed her studies and bad-mouthed me here. Anyway we ignore each other whenever our paths cross. Today when she was walking towards me, we looked at each other and it was clear that we didn’t know what to do. In my case a natural smile came on my face but then I suddenly froze my smile realizing what she did in the past… She said hi to me and I replied back (was quite surprised). And I turned my back and continued my way… Better avoid…
I checked my mails and saw that my ex is sending me mails again… Damn… I have a feeling he is trying to contact me and soon he will call me up… And the day is approaching. I wonder if I should pick up his call. I know I will do whatever I wish… Problem is… I dunno what I want. I have changed so much and have become so flexible in some way that I dunno what I want. I really want to be firm and make decisions like ‘Yes! I like this!’ or ‘No! I don’t like it!’ Well I do have a few things that am firm upon! But still… We’ll see when the time comes. Enough of planning about things and then everything gets fucked up.
What else is new? Hmm only that I won’t be updating too often now… Only when I really get the time to do so… It is getting to tough and am at a point where nothing is certain… I hope things improve. No. I mean to say ‘I hope I improve things’. That’s all I wanna say. There are certain things that are in my hands. And if I can do something about these things then it’s the right time to do so. Move my ass. Fucking shake it I mean!!!
I hope I get some blessings and I start off this week in a better way. Have a better grip on myself and a better focus on my work. That’s all I want right now. And yes I have to do it. Make it happen…
